Grandma and Grandad

SAD

i am sad i will care for my friends and family wishes ,watches and trust i trust my mum that she won't die of cancer.
 
by caitlin waumsley aged 9

My Say

Hi my name is Roisin.

My Daddy killed himself on the 21 of December,

just before Christmas.I've only got my Mum and two brothers left.

I just want Daddy to know that i still love him after what he did.

Love Roisin xxx

This is for my Dad

Why did you have to do it?

well now mum is really fit.

Every day I shread a tear.

Don't try to think about beer.

I love you so much.

I say to people when they see a picture of you don't touch.

I wish I could cry a stair well and go to heaven and just see you even for 1 minute.

I love cricket now every game I say we have to win it.

I can't bear to addmit that my dad hung himself because it hurts.

Oh! and by the way I don't mind dirt.

I don't no my time.

Sorry I don't know anything that rhymes.

love you dad you made me so I will make you live once more From your little girl Taylor setterfield age 9 my father died when I was 4

My little angel in the sky

my little angel in the sky,

i know you'l always be close by.

however far away you are,

you'l always be my guiding star.

the star that makes the sky shine bright,

your in my dreams all through the night.

 my little angel in the sky,

i know you'l always be close by.

RIP

brenda i only knew you a short few months but you helped me turn my life round. i know its never going to be the same without you. i know that your in a better place now with no pain or suffering. i just miss you so much even though you died only a week ago. your so amazing and il always treasure having you as my guardian you mean the world to me. rip brenda

Nicky - Brother

Oh brother,
why do you torture us so
was this the last resort
or was it a cry for help
did you have no one
no one to turn to in your time
of need.
i am upset it had to come
down to this
if only you had said we could
have helped you
now you are all alone
and we have a big gap
in our lives
i ask myself everday
why,why,why
i guess i will never know.

I'm never gonna see her again :(

Im never gonna see her again :(


its like i got back frm holiday august... we wud hear from my nan evryday she wud ring the hotel n that... the last week we heard nothing from her, when we got back she wasnt well, had a kidney infection , she wasnt the type of person to tell ppl when they on holiday she didnt wna ruin it for us, from kidney infection it went to her getting worse, and being diagnosed with non hodgekinsons lymphoma...

she was diagnosed with it in september, and was gone 12th january it all happened so quickly, such a blur :(

but the whole time she was in and out of hospital... was meant to have 6 chemos only got to 3... she got worse, infections all the time, ended up in  hospital constantly.. until she werent comin out... gt rli bad js b4 xmas.... and was in over xmas and until she died... so quite a long time...

she woz moved to a hospice, i wud sleep there evry nite with her, coz wud get a call saying shes gna die tonite so wud have to rush down, took 3 months off uni woz ina state with it all, woz so close to her... and then it got worse, and me , my mum, my auntie and my dad ended up being there that day... and the breathing got worse.... we saw and heard the noises her body made as it was shutting down.. and going all cold... but they sedated her coz she woz so panicky coz when she saw the name of the hospice she knew wot it was... cause had spoken bout it b4..
she wud just fall asleep, n never wake up

but the thing that hurt me the most
was when she could talk
she was tryna take her oxygen off saying enough, she wanted to go, she told docs to stop treatment too... it wudnt have helped neway
she luked at me, she told me.. she woz scared... and tears came out her eyes :(
i remember her telling me she loved me. and the way she used to call me her one and only grand-daughter..

im finding things so hard... :(
when she left, she took part of me with her. i feel like someones ripped my heart out of me :(

i have these regrets of not talking to her more when she wasnt sedated....and this anger inside of her leaving us...

i just want you back...
 
Your one and Only
 
Daryl
x

My Nanny Died

hi my name is nadia i am 10 years old. my nanny died and i was really up set . i keep having nightmares and i have to sleep in my mummy bed room now because i am scared. i am going out of the house because i want to visit my nannys house . i am sorry if this has happen it you .

Explanation

An explanation of death,
is very hard..
It matters who it happens to,
Mum,Dad,Grannny Or Granpa!
It is all the same.
Peach, Black or grey!
Each breif cycle is different.
Even though I think this in my own mind,
I'm sure it help you too! ;D

To my dearest grandmother

To my dearest grandmother.

This is a small poem for her.

Why?

A question i ask myself,
why did you leave,
was it me,
was it me?

A thing I like to say,
are you happy,
are you sad,
are you sad?

A phraseI like to hear,
It is fine,
is it,
is it?

Now your are really gone,
The sadness has turned on.

Lexi

Not a day goes by that i dont think of how life could have been different if you were still here
Its coming up to xmas and you should be celebrating your first christmas at the age of 5 months.
You should be sitting on my lap screaming for your next feed watching all the presetns being unwrapped, you’d be so spoilt.
Instead you watch me from above looking down as i try to move on and live my life like a normal person but i guess i’m not normal.
I hate the way you were concieved but still i wanted to love you to hold you like a mother should.
Hold you instead of air. Hold you not stare at your grave.

Nanny

I was 7 when my nanny died and i am now 9 those 2 years have gone like yesterday i am finding my life hard without her,my nan was very special to me. i luv u  from Jade  XXX

My sister

My sister was killed and i watched her die in my arms,,  about 5 months ago my sister was stabbed and i cradled her
As she spoke her last words......

Amie your heart has always been good live the life i won’t get to see and tell me about it in heaven....tell every one
I love them.                            I love you,, you made this easy for me and i’m not scared! Please don’t cry. I’ll love you
forver

Every day i think about you the way you smile the way you’d wake up every morning and sit on the end of my bed and sing
The way you always laughed at something i said to break the ice if it were silent the way if i’d cry you’d hold me tight so the
Tears went away.
 
I think about you every day lovee you sis wish you were here !!

Love amie xx

My brother - George

GORGEOUS
EAGER
ORIGINAL
RARE
GENTIL
ELEGANT
 
He waz ALL of thoughs things.
Love you so much George
ur sis Issie xxx

Vicky, Our Mum

Mummy will leave us today,
We are sad she couldn’t stay.
But as she was in so much pain,
We couldn’t wish her back again.
To us, our mum was a star,
And the best mum in the world by far,
As brave and strong as she could be,
You will stay in our hearts, Mummy eternally.

~Reminds me of you~

This is for my Uncle Johnney, who passed away on the 17.11.09 4.50pm


You wrapped your arms around me
The smeel of smoke reminds me of you
Your long grey hair looks like a furball
Your hugs made me happy
You understood me
I could trust you
And one hug made me
I believe in you
I trust in you
I can't hear or see you
But I feel you
You're the greatest Uncle I could of asked for.
I just wanted to say
A hug reminds me of you
And that I love you with all my heart
And that's where you belong in my heart
And no other man is going to replace you.
iloveyou so much. xxxxxxxxxx

Voices

That familiar lullaby
Playing the night through
A cacophony of voices
When there’s really only two.

Maternal and Paternal
Fight like cat and dog
Poison clouds the air here
Thick as sulphurous smog.

Deafness what I’d pray for
Wishing for an end
Why couldn’t they be nice?
What was wrong with being friends?

Shutting out the voices
Into my pillow I cried
And then, four months later
Paternity went and died.

Five years he’s been dead
Yet I still hear them shout
Every November
When his deathday comes about.

Voices down the years
Voices in my head
Memories so painful
Of a family long dead.

Rachel Gleavy, 17

For my Dad

i miss u every minute of every day.u mean the world to me i still think your here with me sitting down watching tv.your the best dad in the world i love u more than anything in the world no matter what your the best dad a son could ever have.

Mum, from Jade xxx

My mum died 31^st December 07

I just wanted to say Hi Mum.

I miss you loads & loads and I

think about you every day.

I miss watching the dog whisperer

on a night time with our drinks

and chocolate. Dad and me

are going to the FA Cup match

2morrow, Boro against Cardiff.

I hope Boro win because they lost last week

to Reading. Just wanted to

let you know at school I am

making a memory box

for you and granddad.

I miss you loads.

Lots of love

From

Jade xxx

Poem for my Dad

my dad committed suicide about 6mnths ago n i wrote dis a lil while after
 
i look up silently at the stars from my bed,
a million questions fill up my head
i dont understand, why did u go?
i guess noone will ever know
 
the burning question in the minds
of all of us left behind
does somebody, anybody, know the reason why
you left without a simple goodbye?
 
i wish i could change the bad in the past
everything has happnened way too fast
i wish our last moments were frozen forever
to keep you with me, keep us together
 
i wish that i already knew
what you were about to do
i wish i could of made everything ok
i wish i could of made you stay
 
what did i do? did i say something wrong?
am i the reason you are gone?
to have you back i would give the world
i just wanna be daddy's lil girl
 
im lost in memories, gazing in the fire
to see you again is my one desire
but your gone and im too late
i cannot change the hands of fate
 
Tonii..x

Footprints on my heart for eternity

"footprints on my heart for eternity"

-------------------------------------

for eternity

My Mum died

My mum died
my mum died when i was 6
now im 11. i miss her everyday
i cry all the time, i think of her all
the time i wish you were here right now
at school im making a memory box so i can remember you
i just want you here with me and dad i want you back into life
we will never forget you and never forget out great times together
 
 
 
                  love you mum and always will
 
                 love charlotte xxxxx

A poem for my brother

Dan the man, our brother

Alway singing in the shower (badly)!

Never forget you

I love you so much

Ever with William, your little boy

Love you now and forever

Rosie your nickname

Oasis your favourite band

Sam has had her baby, called Maisie

I will never forget you

My best friend

this hit me that u were not able to come back!

things have hurt others too ,
but u were my bestfriend and i cant live with out u xx

i dont know how i am coping or anyone else
this is big for me, adam and everyone else who knew u

we loved u muchly and now u are gone we have empty spaces
we dont know how to go on with out u baby girl xx

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY,VERY MUCH I AND EVERYONE ELSE WOULD LOVE FOR
YOU TO COME BACK TO SEE US AND SO WE COULD HOLD YOU AGAIN EVEN FOR FIVE MINUTES X

LOVE FROM ASHA Xxx

My Mum died

My mum died of cancer just over 2 years ago and only now am i starting to feel the full effect, im miserable, i cant think about her without crying and i cant control my anger, i cant control my feelings and im never happy anymore :(

Grampy

Hi i am charlotte i  lost my grampy a few years ago.  When the cofin went dwon because his name was roy it said rip (rest in peace) but then when i went home i asked my mum if it meant roy incerdible pople an my mum said no but it will always stay with me foever!!!!! Miss you grampy .

To my Daddy

To my Daddy 

I miss you soo very much

but i dont like to say much

if i get upset

i dont want to make mum sad

every day i shread a tear in memory of someone soo very dear 

Love you xxxxxxxx

I'm Missing You

The days of absence, sad and weary
Clothed in misery and disperse
Days of absence, has begun
As I sit wishing she could be hear

We used to be friend's
Bestfriend's
I miss uyou more each day goes by
I sit there looking at your house
Hoping you would come out of it
But you never do
I'm Missing you
 
I am tired of waiting
The pain my heart’s against
The feeling of wanting you
The love I have is in little ink drops,
And posted with a kiss

I’m sending it up to heaven
Where I’m waiting for your reply
I want to know why you left me
Alone and vulnerable

You’re always roaming my heart
 It seems to release the pain
My heart untraveled, without you hear with me
Still to my friend’s  I turn, Hoping it would be you
each day drags at each remove a never ending pain

I dropped a tear into the ocean
The day you find it I will stop missing you.
I’m missing you so much right now.

Why did you have to leave me?
You were meant to be there forever
Now you’re living with Jesus.
When I really to be you living with me
I Love you
R.I.P my BESTFRIEND
My HERO!!
♥♥♥ xx

my say

I had a family. A happy family with a mum and a dad. Where did it go? I will never see them again and that kills me :'(
 
I wanted to say. I miss them, more than anything. x

Bye bye Christie

My best friend died 23rd of December 2010,she died of septicaemia after complaining of a sore throat the night before,at just fourteen,I miss her so so much I just wished she would come back,love you Christie.xxxxxxx

Grandma Irene

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd tell you I loved you,

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd tell you I missed you,

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd tell you what I wanted to be when I was older,

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd tell you who my best friends where,

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd tell you everything and anything you needed to hear

If I had you back for just 5 minutes I'd say "please come back for another 5 minutes tomorrow"

I will always love you

I will always love you - by Kathryn

I herd of cancer a long time ago

I will always remember you through the glisten of the snow

I couldn't wait to visit you in hospital Then when I herd the bad news, my whole life fell

At first I thought it was a joke

Why would you have died daddy, my favourite bloke

Everyone was upset and down

I was crying aloud, with a great big frown

I miss you every day to day

Daddy, there's nothing more i can say

I will love you every single day I stand Until that day of peace when we will be hand in hand

From Kathryn, who's dad died when she was 9 years old from cancer :( I will always love you!! Xoxoxox

My Sonnet About My Nanna

Shall I compare you to a lovely day,             
You are more beautiful than the warm sun;  
Your bright blue eyes shine in the light of May,
You are as sweet as a large chocolate bun;      
I love you more than all the grains of sand,    
You are more fine each time I spend with you;  
I look in your eyes as I hold your hand,          
I wonder, do you feel the same way too?        
You have long brown hair all shiny and neat,    
I love you more than all the flowers in spring;    
How I long for the time when we next meet,     
Your heart will always be under my wing;          
I want you right here to have and to hold,       
You're more precious to me than all the gold.
 
 
My Nanna died of Pancreatic Cancer in August 4th,
i wrote this sonnet (poem) in English about my Nanna, hope you enjoyed it.

MY DAD

Grandaddy

Hi, my name is Rebecca Parker. I am 12 years old, and will be turning 13 in December. At the present, and since June 2008 I have been having nightmares about the moment my grandad stopped breathing. He had cancer. He was like a dad to me, but I really miss him. This is my message:
 
 
Dear Grandaddy, My heart was broken, as I loved you much. Oh how I wiss I could just have you back. Love Rebecca xxx Happy Anniversary to you and my dear nan, Brenda xxx

Michelle Gellard

my sister who was 7 died in a swimming pool accident on the 14th of june she was my best friend and a little cheeky monkey and she was a very kind and helpful little
girl.She always asked if she could tidy up the dressing up clothes with her best friend Raya. She loved football and judo on the day it happend she got a silver cup they called her Michelle attitude Gellard. I will really miss her so much love you forever your loveing sister liz age 10.
                                                          
YOUR                                                        
MY                                                                  
LITTLE                                                                               
ANGEL

I don't know how to cope with myself lately

I don't know how to cope with myself lately
i find that i have become a very unhappy person
i want to do things , bad things to me but i can't bring myself to do it
i feel as if all i do is upset my mum or people in my family
so many things have happened from me just being a young child
I don't know what to do anymore
i find myself crying everyday without fail
i don't seem to be happy I'm sick of looking like am happy
because deep down am really sad
 
i miss my step-dad Andrew so much i feel that if he was here
things wouldn't be like they
i just need him to be here
i can't cope i think that what my problem is
my life just doesn't seem to be moving any were
i want to do my mum proud with my GCSE exams
 
But i feel as if i can't do it
i just don't seem to have the energy
i feel so lonely and sad
i have friends but they don't feel like friends
i feel as if it is me against the world
 
i just want my dad to be here so much well step dad
my real dad just walked out on me
so yes i call my step dad my dad because he was more of a dad to me
and i miss him to much
 
i hate that me and my mum don't get on and i
don't seem to know what makes me do the things that i do
i think it is through sadness
because i am such a sad child
i don't know what to do to make myself happy i feel that low
i feel i live a big lie sometimes

For my Grampa

Forever is a long time.

Dad...

I dont know what im feeling is right or wrong, My dad left me before i was born It wasnt an issue when i was younger we always went and visited him in portugal. but then when i was 9 he hung up on me.

My entire world didnt collapse i felt just as bit upset but i thought he would still want to no me.

And now i dont know what to do, everything around me feels so wrong, he's effected my life so much, i cant trust men, scared they gonna leave me. It just gets me down every now and again.

I want to find him and for me to be his little girl again but im not gonna be. But then again i dont wanna know him i hate him.

Its horrible. I dont know what i feel anymore.

I just dont know what to do. I dont even know if he's alive or dead.

I want to know where he is. and im just so... lost...

<33

Rachelalice.xo

My say to my mum

I wish life was back to normal. I miss you mum and some times i wish you were here. Sometimes i am happy you died because new things happened that we didn't think of. Sometimes I am not happy because things that you let me do, i can't do now.

Hope you read this Daddy

Since you left us there hasn't been a single minute i have forgot about you.Not one.Maybe once but never ever again.I have a worry doll that looks like you.There tincy dolls.I tell you everything i really hope you read this.And please please give me a sign if you read this.
Love , Daddy's little girl.

Daddy

Daddy
We miss you every day.
Will our pain ever go away?
No more Harvest Moon.

Love Beau and Lara
x x x x x x x x x x x

Nothing Compares

nothing compares to the aching, the wanting, the craving..
when you went, mother, you took me with you.
i am numb, and dead.
a hollow shell of who i once was.
but of corse, i am "fine thanks" to everyone.
trying to make a relationship work is so wrong now.
i want to love him so much,
i want to look at him like i used to.
but it's no use.
i am gone.

ETHAN JAY

YOU HAVE BECOME AN ANGEL,
      TOO PRECIOUS FOR OUR WORLD.
    WE NEVER GOT TO SEEE YOU SMILE,
      OR EVEN SHED A TEAR.

    YOU HAVE BECOME AN ANGEL,
      TOO TINY TO TAKE A BREATH.
   BUT TO MUMMY AND DADDY YOU
   ARE SO PERFECT.
  
 OUR PERFECT ANGEL,
    TAKEN BEFORE YOUR TIME.
  YOU WILL ALWAYS BE OURS,
 WE WILL HOLD YOU CLOSE IN OUR HEARTS.

YOU HAVE BECOME AN ANGEL.
WHERE GOD WILL TREASURE YOU AND HOLD YOU TIGHT UNTIL WE REUNITE.
 HE NEEDS YOU THERE IN HIS KINGDOM,
 BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE MADE IT BRIGHT.

 UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN LITTLE TREASURE,
   WE WILL HOLD YOU IN OUR HEARTS,
   AND IN OUR EVERY THOUGHT.   

 YOU WERE WITH US FOR ONLY A SHORT TIME.
  BUT IN THIS TIME YOU MADE OUR HEARTS MELT,
  WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU EVER…..
 TAKE CARE LITTLE TREASURE.
  LOVE YOU LOTS MUMMY AND DADDY..
                   XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sit and wonder why you left

I wrote this to my Dad who commited suicide 10 years ago.

I sit and wonder why you left

Without saying goodbye

Without giving me one of your special hugs

I sit and wonder why.

I wonder why you took yourself

And left me in so much pain

Left me to cry myself to sleep

Because i'll never see you again.

I wonder what it would be like now

To see you every day

To not sit and wonder if…

If you could have just stayed.

People say that time's a healer

But this scar will never heal without you

If you really loved me like you said you did

How could you make me so blue?

It’s not fair I scream from inside out

How could you do this to me

But you wont ever be able to tell me that

I'll never know unfortunately.

So I’ll sit and wonder why you left

Without saying goodbye

Without giving me one of your special hugs

I’ll sit and wonder why.

Jim

There's never been a boy like him,   
My wonderful and special ,
I miss his laughter and his smile,
I long for him all the while.
 
Jim was handsome,funny and smart,
He was kind and caring with a beautiful heart,    
Precious memories comfort the pain,
But I ache to hear his voice again.
 
A true friend to everyone he knew,
Making people laugh is what he'd do,
Jim is not forgotten but in my heart all the time,
And I'm so blessed to have had Jim as a friend of mine.

My Mum

My mum died of breast cancer, i was devastated. I was her step-son yet she
was always my mum. It didn't matter to her that i was not biologically hers. 
She had been my mum for 10 years when she died and i can't bear to think
about all the things we might have done together. My dads moved on with his
girlfriend now and i don't know whether i want him to. I know i can't ask
him to grive forever, like i seem to be doing, but i don't want her replaced
either. . i loved her so much that sometimes, it even hurts inside.

For My Good Friend Harry

Where are you now?

i know i cant see you

or touch you or feel you

but somehow i sense you

i love you i need you

where are you now?

are you here or are you there?

are you the river? the stream?

or the breeze that blows my hair?

are you the gentle sun

that shines and rules the sky?

or are you the midnight dark

glowing way up high?

are you the air?

the sleet? the snow?

please can u tell me i need to know

you might be the tear that falls from my eye

the clouds? the heavens? that make up the sky

are you the smiles on childrens faces?

or the kitten that a dog chases?

are you an angel? are you a star?

are you the thing that dreams are?

are you hope, or love or peace?

theres one thing you are... and thats a part of me...

roots to grow the wings to fly

You’ve grown your roots on earth grandad,

They were full of warm love and brilliant humour,

But you got tired of struggling so you spread your wings and you flew,

I know its best but I’ll miss you.

for my grandad

Breaking Down

One day you were on the phone to me,
The next it was all gone,
I got the phone call on Saturday night,
Ill never forget the sound of the voice when I answered,
All it said was “I’m so sorry, but he’s gone” then sobs.

I didn’t know what to do,
It hadn’t hit me yet,
I tried to comfort your mum,
But I don’t think anything I said could have helped,
You her only son had just been taken from her.

Not only her but also you had left me too,
What could I do?
It didn’t hit me for a while,
The next day driving in the car listening to your fave song,
Reading the last text I’ll ever get off you I broke down.

 I would never see you again,
Or hear your voice,
I knew you were feeling down,
But I didn’t realise you were so sad I wish I’d done something,
I’m so sorry you felt that way I’ll love you forever R.I.P A.P. x x

Bad Golfer

she was the only who never judged,
never expected more of me,
excepted me for who i am,
never tried to change me,
never told me a lie,
but now she's gone,
I can carry on ,
rebuild my life,
never shall i ever forget,
the way u smiled, the way you laughed,
i miss and will always love you .........

My Say - Complicated Feelings

Complicated feelings- Some thoughts about my fabulous, caring music teacher.
I don’t exactly know what to say,

My feelings are all muddled,

You see my teacher died the other day,

The one that gave me cuddles.

Three years ago she was diagnosed with cancer,

When she fought to survive,

The disease fought back harder,

But nothing could stop her.

Well that’s what we thought until Tuesday,

- The day she was snatched away,

She was left weak and she fought ‘til the end,

But her soul could not stay.

I pray now for her family and her children,

That they will come to find,

Some peace with the knowledge that,

With God she now shines.

I’ve finally come to the conclusion,

That as hard as it is to believe that my teacher is gone,

I must also realise that her pain died with her,

But the pain of those she left on Earth has only just began.

Nan

when you were very small i told you that there was a gold cord that help a family together and whatever happend it vould not snap or fray
seperation,divorce,distance or death it is always there though sometimes very hard to see.
it can stretch clear over any horizon to any point in time. a lifeline, a reassurance when and if you need it.
our family is linked by an invisible thread forever.

Daddy

My dad died on december 7th 2004 in a car crash on his way home from work. I was 8, my brother was 5 and my daddy was 32. I was very scared when we heard and it was dark and late at night.
 
It has been very hard without Daddy and Mummy, Jake and I miss him. We are trying hard to get used to it and get on with enjoying things, but we will always remeber my special daddy.
 
From Caitlin age 9

My Grandad

FROM ME TO YOU

I LOVE YOU SO

YOU TAUGHT ME THINGS

AND WATCHED ME GROW

YOU TOOK ME FISHING

TO CATCH BIG FISH

I COULDN'T BEAT YOU

THE MORE I WISHED

YOUR SECOND HOME

THE CARAVAN

I LOVED IT BEST

WITH YOU AND NAN

JUST REMEMBER

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

EVERY FISH I CATCH

I'LL CATCH IT FOR YOU

LOVE DANNY XXXXX

Where r u dad ?

where r u dad y cant i find u
y did u go away
my world is changin
i miss u daddy
8 year on and i want u dad
 
y did u died dad i loved u so dad
i was just five
i am 13 now i dont rememeder u now
y did u die
 
sum time i hate u because u left me
but i will never not love u
u r my daddy u have six kid
we all miss u dad
 
i no i dont show my feelin
but i really miss uuuuuuuuuu

Every Step of the Way

when i close my eyes i hear the screech of breaks.
i hear the cry of my brother.
time slows down.

when i see you in the hospital in that chapel of rest i say to my self that is not my mummy.
for my mummy is a angel helping other people.
her soul is in the ones who she loves.

it is hard to think that when i end school i wont see my mum
it is hard to think that when i walk threw my house doors i wont see my mum
it is hard to think on my  wedding day, my child's birth, my birthday, easter, christmas and bad days i wont see my mummy.
 
but i do know that she will be with me every step of the way.
 
i love you mummy
 
Jemma
xxxxxx(age 11)

My Mask

-x-Mask-x-

I wrote this poem 2 years after my dad died, it’s helped me.
This is a poem for anyone who feels they can’t open up about their loss.

You may not see the mask that I wear,
Since its not one I like to show off.
But it’s just as real as the day and night,
And I don’t think it’s coming off.

It protects me from things I don’t want to hear,
 A shield to keep from feeling on my own.
But sometimes those shields breakdown their barriers,
And that’s when I’ll be feeling alone.

I put on my mask when I hear your name,
Mentioned in loving tones.
It makes me feel strong and not afraid,
But it won’t stop me being alone.

My mask shows a person that’s bright and happy,
A face that knows how to have fun.
But behind it is a person that’s an outsider, a victim,
So the mask, I’m afraid stays on.

Behind my mask, my eyes swell up,
Constant tears they bleed.
My mask doesn’t understand my words,
But from my tears, it feeds.

My mask didn’t exist, until the day I lost you,
And after that I wanted to hide.
Hide any pain or hurt that I felt deep within,
Any agony that burned inside.

I’ll take off my mask when the time feels right,
And I feel I know why you left,
But until that day my unwanted mask stays on,
Even though it’s not for the best.

If you wear a mask,
Or put one on just because you think it feels right.
Take it off, open up,
Or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life…….

….. I did!

-x- Elspeth –x-

PETER

My Fab Mum

You're a  fab  mum  but  you're  gone.  Please  can  I  see  you?  Don't   just  leave  me  here. You  said  'I  will  never  leave  you,  my  darling'.
 
Maisy
Aged 8.

For Eternity

i want to fall asleep in your arms whilst you sing to me,
i want to laugh till my sides split whilst you tickle me,
i want to cry my heart out whilst your shouting at me,
i want, never gets anyone anywhere.
 
i need your advice with my life,
i need your smile to make me smile,
i need your cuddles to make me feel better,
i need, never gets anyone anywhere.
 
so if what you need,
and what you want,
are impossible suggestions,
what do you do?
 
you do not dwell in the past,
you smile like they would have wanted you to,
you grow up like they would have wanted you to,
you laugh,
you smile.
 
But most of all,
you weep for them,
and you still speak to them,
knowing full well they cant talk back,
they may be dead,
but that doesnt mean theyre not with you.
 
the cuddles may have gone,
theyre image may have faded,
but the love you shared,
will be alive,
for eternity
 
by rebekah :)

For My Granddad

If I cried u a river of tears,
Would u cry 2? ,
If I helped yoo thru things,
Wat is it yood want me 2 do?
Tell me

Its seems tht every time I think of yoo I cry,
And my tears never seem to dry,
My face feels pale and wet,
Im just glad we actually met.

I tried to remember our gud times,
But wen I did all I could think of is the words tht told me u had gone,
Words popped in my head, rhymes repeating,
I new things wud change, they did, but not 4 long.

Why did yoo av 2 be taken frm me,
What is it tht I done wrong?,
I'll try to be tough for yoo 2 see,
But I know you know I am strong.

People say they know everything yoo feel,
But How,
This just cant be real,
I just want 2 know how people think, and now.

Songs About My Brother

after my brother died i started to write my thougths down in songs and poems
 
heres the best one :
 
rich i know we left on such a bad note, wish i could change every minuete of the day. you were taken so suddenly from our reach. im osrry things are the way they are.
______________________________________________
if i could do anything now i would bring you home once again, your missed greatly by everyone. things should be different you should be with us now not by your own.
_____________________________________________
day after day you are on my mind, i remember the days when  we were little, driving mom and dad mad, what happened after that ?
    you slipped away into your dark gloomy years of drugs and drink, you f***** up everything you had, but i forgive you, it was not your fault it was your peers and your condition.
i just cant wait to see you again, i know we will meet and be reunited again
_______________________________________________
if i could do anything now i would bring you home once again, your sadly missed by everyone around. things should be different, could have been diffferent, you should be with us now not by your self.
__________________________________________________
 
i wrote this song about 6 months after my brother killed himself in his flat. we found him two days after lying on the floor.

My nan

MY NAN SADLY DIED ON DECEMBER 23RD 1997 IN HOSPITAL, SHE HAD CAUGHT DOUBLE
PHOMONIA, I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE, I NEVER GOT TO SAY SORRY FOR ARE
ARGUMENT JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS THAT YEAR, WELL IM SAYING IT NOW, IM SORRY
NAN FOR ARGUING WITH YOU, YOU WERE LIKE A MUM I NEVER HAD, TO ME YOU WERE MY
MUMMY.
IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I WANT YOU TOO KNOW WERE ALL OKAY AND THAT IM
LOOKING AFTER HIM.
REST IN PEACE, I SEE YOU SOON NAN
LOVE YOU ALWAYS DAVID

good bi

good bi
 
i think at nite wat it would be like if u was here with me
i think at nite if i new u was goin 2 go would i let u go
i think at nite i was only 5 but i loved u so and so
8 year on and i am sayin good bi
 
good bi for now
good bi 2 u
good bi my dad
i do miss u
8 year on and i am sayin good bi now
 
when i get up i think for u
y dose happen 2 me
 
good bi 2 day
good bi 2 morrow
i will c u again 
 

Losing You

Losing You:
Its nearly a year
A cruel twist of fate
Just as I got to know you
You went away
You had been unwell for a while
But still I had hope
That you would be here for me
When we lost Nan you were strong
You looked frail at the funeral
But days later you looked well again
Over the summer I got to know you
More and More I loved you
I got annoyed when I couldn’t come and see you
I loved your hugs and kisses
That old person smell
Come October your Angina was taking over
You had to drive to a neighbour’s house one night
Due to have an operation I held out hope
That you would be around for a while yet
You were 90 years of age
One Monday morning the phone call I’d dreaded
My uncle telling my mum you had been taken into hospital
I came and saw you that night
Wires and drips everywhere
You were still yourself though
But you were in pain
I prayed and hoped with all my heart you would be ok
All week I held out hope for you to survive
Thursday evening, the night I had dreaded dearly
Dad came home
"It looks unlikely Grandpa will pull through"
Then the question I didn’t want to hear
"Do you want to come and see him one last time?"
I sat and couldn’t take it in.
Still ignoring what was happening
Thinking you would be fine
I rejected the offer like I had with Nan
I wanted the good memories that I still have
Dad went off to see you.
He had called our neighbour and she came over
I still couldn’t cry even in her arms
I was being strong for my brother
Waiting for Dad to return with more news
Seemed like forever
When he finally returned telling us
"He’s still himself all bubbly and awake"
I went to bed trying to forget deeply what was going on
That morning I went straight into dad’s room
I knew something was wrong he hadn’t woken me on time
"We lost him in the night"
That’s when I cried
All hope had gone.
Now no matter what I prayed for you
I lost you
Just as I was getting to know you
You went.
The next week was a blur
Still in counselling from school
I talked about it.
Didn’t cry though.
The following Friday was the funeral
I’d brought an outfit that would make you proud.
Seeing your coffin.
I didn’t cry
Sitting In the car following you though
I knew this was the final goodbye
A few tears escaped
We parked up and got out
All your friends were there
Such a big turn out
I was proud of you
That’s when I was gone
Tears bawled from my eyes
I couldn’t hold it in anymore
The man that meant so much to me was gone
Sitting though the funeral the tears didn’t stop
Hearing music you liked.
I was inconsolable.
After standing in the courtyard
People telling me how great you were
How long you had lived
Didn’t help me one bit.
I wanted YOU there
No one else just you.
At the Wake baby cousins were playing
Everyone was happy
It really was a celebration of you
I was proud
The proudest grandchild you could’ve had
One of two
I imagined you sitting at the bar in the clubhouse
Somewhere you had spent many a happy time.
Going home that night
I sat in my room alone
Still holding out hope
I hadn’t accepted it even with all the tears
I believed I would see you again soon
Maybe next week.
The weekends were hard.
Not going to see you and to tidy and hover
I couldn’t get my head around it
Every day I think about you
It’s nearly a year now.
I’m reliving all the memories
I love you with all my heart
And will never forget you
You mean everything to me
I know you are looking down on me.
Watching me with my friends
Trying to carry on with life
Love you and miss you always
Rest in peace my one and only Grandpa.

My Dad

MY DAD
 
I WAS 5 WHEN U DIED I HOPED IT WAS A LIE
8 YEAR ON I TRY NOT 2 CRY
U WAS MY DAD MY ONLY DAD I DONT  REALLY NO U IT MAKES ME SAD
ALL THE YEAR I AINT HAD U I REALLY WISH I DID,
U HAVE SIXS KIDS THEY ALL MISS U I AM THE YOUNGEST I DO MISS U 2
I AM 13 NOW I DONT HAVE U I REALLY WISH I DID KNOW U
THE MOST THING THAT MAKES ME SAD IS THAT I DONT NO WAT U LOOK LIKE
I SEEN U IN A PHOTO I NO IT IS U BUT I CAN REMEMDER U IN MY HEART

My Dad, My Guardian Angel, My Hero!

Amazing, thats my Dad,
Could do no wrong, could do no bad.
That was in my eyes, anyway.
But God must not think like that, cause he took you away.

Laughter and happiness are now in the past,
Now what do I have, thats going to last?
See, nothing seems good anymore,
I wish I could just see you walk through the door.

A broken leg, that was all,
Oh, why did you have to go and fall?
And when your heart stopped, mine did too,
I wanted to go and be with you.

Everybody said I was so strong,
But deep down inside, I knew they were wrong.
Tears fell, slipped down my cheeks,
They didnt stop for weeks and weeks.

Friends say they understand,
Wanting to give me a helping hand,
But they dont know how I really feel,
Is any of this actually real?

If I huddle in a corner, on my own,
Will I still be able to here everybody moan,
About their make up and their hair
Sometimes its too much for me to bear. . .

Jenny Hicks

Fitzy

The infamous Fitzy, F-I-T cant be touched cause were from netherely.
    
       For my brother michael fitzgibbon we love and miss you for ever and ever michael love kyle,mum,justin and all the family. {fitzy}

For my dad

Some days I’m in a dark room other days I carry that dark room on my back and other days I leave it in the corner of my bedroom!!

You may have been taken from this world but you will never be taken form me!

In my heart I carry pain, each day the pain grown stronger and hurts more.

I won’t say you’re dead because I know you're not but I know you’re not able to be here in person,

And I miss you so much however I know you’re living on each day with me and that makes me feel good.

I don’t cry because yesterday will never happen again, I cry because I’m glad it did happen!

Even though words won’t bring you back I need you to know just incase you forget, I cared for everything you’ve ever

For me but mostly I care, miss and love you more each day and always will!                      

(My dad died on the 10th of December 2004, in motorbike accident)

With love to those who have lost loved ones and to my Dad

Love Heather

Age 13 

xxxxx

Why you ?

Why You?

I miss you so much that words can’t express

And even though you are gone I love you no less

You always loved me no matter what

We both loved each other an awful lot

I wish you were still here, but just not in pain

Going through that again would drive me insane

What I don’t understand is why it had to be you

You didn’t deserve to go through what you went through

You were a good man and did little wrong

So why did you suffer for so long?

You made your mistakes, but people do

But no matter what you were always true

You are a person that will never be replaced

Such a good man and full of grace

No matter what you will always be my dad

You are in my thoughts everyday and always when I’m sad

I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone

Now I regret all the things that I did wrong

I wish I didn’t argue and just lived for the day

Because you never know what will stand in your way

But now you are in a place that is better

Looking down on me and doing whatever

I am so glad that you are out of pain

Nothing will faze you, not even the rain

You see, it was so hard to see you just lying there

I tried so hard not to, but I couldn’t help but stare

I just couldn’t believe that that person was my dad

I just kept thinking, what has he done so bad?

I was talking to you but you couldn’t speak

In the last week you turned so weak

I stayed with you for two nights in a row

Hoping to be with you when you finally go

But I went out, only for an hour

Not being there just turned me so sour

I felt like I hadn’t said goodbye

And that is one of the reasons why I cry

There is just one question that I want to ask

Why my dad, I just want him back

I’ll ask now to god and the simple fact why

Why did you make my dad suffer, suffer than die?

I LOVE YOU DAD

X x Vicky x X

I have wrote over 30 poems since I found out my dad had cancer, unfortunately he died and this is the most recent poem I have wrote

Angel

If you are an angel then how come I don't see you whenever I need you?
When I was little and my sea monkeys died, you said they were angels.
When I was little and the cats died, you said they were angels.
So how come I'm older and yet still I'm told, you are an angel.
If you are an angel then how come I don't see you whenever I need you?

You told me a lie that I'll believe for always, does that   make you an angel?
If you are with god then how come he can't hear me when I ask him to look after you?
Now that I've lost you and I feel I can't reach, are you gone for always?
If you are an angel then how come I can't see you whenever I need you?

I won't ever say I don't miss you because that's a lie, but do you miss me?
I know Mummy will always miss you, but do you miss he
I know this for sure that everyone misses you, but do you miss us?
If you are an angel then how come I can't see you whenever I need you?
I'll miss you for always and an extra day. And there's no question about that.
And I now know that I'll always miss you and that's a fact.
So there are no more questions to ask since I know that they'll never be answered.
But always remember that Mummy and I will love you until the end of time.
So now that you're an angel I'll always feel you whenever I need you.

Operator...

My brother is in Heaven and i need him here today
so operator please give me the number so that i can call today
I have to tell him that i can get straght As
i know that mum misses him and has a broken heart,
can i find the number in the yellow part?
maby if i call him he'll come home to me
the day he went to heaven i was makeing tea,
i need to call him but i cant remeber how...
operator is it listed in the book by the door?
i cannot read the names cause they are just to small
oh operator i dident meen to make you cry,
i just can't remeber why my brother had to die...
he left me just before christmas, he's living up above
and when the stars twinkle i know it's my brother sending me his love...
operator i know my brother hears me when i pray
and i know he would be thanking you today
4 my big brother james
1984-2005

Hello Grandad

hello grandad i miss you as the days go buy you will stay in my heart always love you sam

My little brother

i wasn't sure what it was or what effects it had,
i couldn't imagine how he felt he must be feeling bad,
to be told you are so ill when you are so young,
you should be out and having fun,
it makes you realise whats so important,
he had to become so independant,
it's hard to watch him go through this pain,
we should be laughing and playing games,
at this time i would hate to be him,
having tests and injections shoved in,
waiting for results and the ok,
i hope he'll be happy and well some day,
he's had operations and thankfully pulled through,
but he lost all his hair and put weight on too,
when he was ill i didnt have much to say,
but i love him more every passing day.

Losing the best Dad that I ever knew

I'd hate to see or hear anyone who goes through this alone
I just want to say you are not the only one
I feel your pain your feelings
But it was just fate that took MY DAD
On the wrong road, WHY!
 
I guess it was meant to happen
But I just dont know why
But it is time to move on
But I can NEVER EVER
FORGET MY DAD

I Miss YOu Grnadad :(

when i was 4 my grandad died
i trie keepin tears in i tried n tried
im 14 now im still not over it
not even a little bit
 
i remember all we used to do together
forget him i will deffantly never
i wish he was still here
that way i would'nt drop a tear
 
we was very near to eachother
i was closer to him than i am my mother
i want him back so much
i can still a little feel his touch
 
i bet all you feel like crap
i feel like i got stabbed in the back
ok well im starting to cry
so im gunna stop writing and say good bye
 
grandad i will never 4get u love you and miss you so much xxxxx

I Love My Dad Song

I do love him still,
My dad that is,
I miss him now,
though its six years later,
I wish he was here,
Now i'm growing up
I understand the cause of his death
and i'm sad
and i know that its alright to cry
which is a good thing
cos it happens alot

cos his love is like a rainbow
but turning grey
into the bright lights
his kiss comes like a summer sun
it makes me feel so happy

My mum

My mum, 17th November 2003.
 
I lost my mum over a year ago and it finally hit home.
When you first realise that their not just going to walk in the door, thats when it becomes real.
I know my mum is with me every step of the way.
She is the first star i see and the wind that blows.
She is the bright sun, sending down its glow.
Within my dreams she is there, keeping the nighmares away.
I wonder if she is proud of me today.
But I know that whatever I do she will always be proud.
She will always be my mum.
I can talk to her when I need her.
Its hard to believe that she won't be there at my wedding or my child's birth.
But she will be there, smiling at me and looking oh so proud.
I love you mum and you'll always be in my thoughts,
Always and Forever xxxxxxxxx
 
Michelle aged 18

Where's my dad - a poem 4 my friends

Before i begin, to ramble on and on.
Just thought you should know, this poem is not a pleasant one.
It is not meant to be happy or bring you a smile,
Just give you an insight on my life for a while.

Daddy's little princess, is what i used to be.
but now he's gone, vanished
Where is he?
You lot just dont understand how lucky you guys are,
now all i have are memories and wishing upon his star.
She went to heaven with dad i think...
The katie i used to be.
Whats left now is tears, fears... and insecurity.

I Sometimes feel like a stranger,
even to all my best friends.
They just see my fake, smiling face,
not the empty feeling inside that never ends.
You may think i'm over it..."so what if her dad's dead".
But i'm the one who has to hear,
the desperate screaming inside my head.

Sitting inside the crowded classroom,
yet i feel so alone.
Do you know how that feels?
My soul turn to stone.
Left me behind.
No last goodbye
Now at dad's gravestone i sit and cry.

That awful day, i will never forget.
tear stained face, my sleeve all wet.
Him lying there cold, no cheeky smile.
But for him...it was all worthwhile
Now I know it's what he wanted but NO, HOW?? WHY??
At night, feels like forever, i lay numb and cry.

My friends, you told me,
Where to come when i need a hand.
But it's not your fault, no matter how you try.
You could never understand.
Every birthday, christmas, walking down the aisle.
Your dad is there.
Arguments, cuddles, driving your 1st car!
Life's not fair.

So always remember,
not all scars show, not all wounds heal,
'Cause sometimes you cant always see,
the pain someone feels.

But me, i'm now an outsider,
and can only watch on.
You have something i dont!
For me this hurt has just begun.  

My dad

I wrote this for my Dad before he died. He had just had a heart transplant.He kept it in his bedside drawer. I read it at the funeral and the thought that he read it too is very comforting to me

To many the moon seems far away

To me it seems so near

It’s always there happy or sad

To me it is so dear.

When good times turned to bad

And my world was at its worst

And I felt so sad, alone

I felt like I was cursed;

I looked up into the clear night sky

And just guess what I saw,

That huge, round beacon calling me,

I was in total awe.

‘I love you to the moon and back,’

He would always say,

I always heard but never felt,

The loving voice the gentle way.

I remember one night long ago,

When I was warm and sleepy in my bed,

He said those heart felt words,

And suddenly I realised in my head,

He meant it really,

All that way he would go,

He loved me to the moon and back

He loved me so.

I also realised that inside,

The love I had so strong,

Would take me to the ends of the earth,

Whether he was right or wrong.

No matter how many men I have in my life,

Through the good and the bad,

There will always be one that will never stray,

The number one man in my life. My Dad.

I wrote this for my Dad before he died. He had just had a heart transplant.He kept it in his bedside draw. I read it at the funeral and the thought that he read it too is very comforting to me

You Don't Know

 
You have no idea what it's like, and why should you?
No one should have to feel like this;
But should is useless.
Things that shouldn't happen do, things that should don't.
 
You don't know what its like to be imprisoned in your own mind,
To see the sun, the laughter, the happiness,
And not be able to join in.
I know you think I'm fine.
You see the big fake smile, hear the fake laugh, and believe it's true.
You're wrong.
 
The leaden mist that still sits in my chest,
Suffocating in despair, that's what it is.
What do you know of that?
You can't be me, you don't know how I feel.
Be grateful.
I do know, and I'm stuck as me.
But such is life.
And at some point, you will also know what this is like.
For now, appreciate I have bad days, and leave me to it.
And when, on those rare occassions I am happy, don't block me out.
Right now, I need friends, more than ever before.

My Poem for My Dad

I miss you so much that words cannot express

And even though you are gone I love you no less

You always loved me no matter what

We both loved each other an awful lot

I wish you were still here, but just not in pain

Going through that again would drive me insane

What I don’t understand is why it had to be you

You didn’t deserve to go through what you went through

You were a good man and did little wrong

So why did you suffer for so long?

You made your mistakes, but people do

But no matter what you were always true

You are a person that will never be replaced

Such a good man and full of grace

No matter what you will always be my dad

You are in my thoughts everyday and always when I’m sad

I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone

And now I regret al the things that I had done wrong

I wish I didn’t argue and just lived for the day

Because you never know what will stand in your way

But now you are in a place that is better

Looking down on me and doing what ever

I am so glad that you are not in pain

Nothing will faze you, not even the rain

You see, it was so hard to see you just lying there

I tried so hard not to, but I couldn’t help to stare

I just couldn’t believe that that person was my dad

I just kept on thinking, what has he done so bad?

I was talking to you but you couldn’t speak

In the last week you turned so weak

I stayed with you for two nights in a row

Hoping to be with you when you finally go

But I went out, only for an hour

Not being there just turned me so sour

I felt like I didn’t get to say goodbye

And that is one of the reasons why I cry

There is just one question that I want to ask

Why my dad, I just want him back

I’ll ask now to god and the simple fact why

Why did you make my dad suffer, suffer then die?

No Time to Apologize

No Time To Apologize
Mind your manners,
Stand up straight,
Sit up tall,
Never alter,

To way you nagged me,

I know now it was for the best.

I used to say I hated you,

After the stupid arguments we had.

You said we were drifting further away,

But as we got closer you suddenly vanished.

I sometimes sit alone in my room,

Wondering where you are now.

Your hand is still held out,

Im still stretching to pull you back.

Things are so hard,

Dads moving on and has met another woman.

Everyone is getting on with life and being happy,

Except me.

I’m the one still sat here,

Frozen in a time, never wanting to go home.

I sometimes dream and you’re back with me,

But then I’m torn away from there by reality.

I don’t know why you had to go,

But I wish you hadn’t.

I miss you, your smell,

And especially your love.

People say its hard to make me smile now,

Well the happiness I owned went into you coffin and is now buried.

In exchange for the miracle called my mum,

I got a black shiny stone and a mound of earth.

No one talks of you anymore,

I wish you were here.

I’m holding onto memories,

They’re all I have now.

But I know you can never come back,

No matter how hard I cry,

How loud I scream but still,

Nothing will ever change,

The forever burning fire of the love I have for you,

I love you and I miss you so much mummy.

Rosie

Rosie
R Rosie is my sister!
O She’s only nine!
S She sings in a lovely voice!
I She’s very intelligent
E She eats everything on her plate
R O S I E
Rosie!

For my dad

I don't know what it is I don't believe
That you are gone
Or that you were ever here.
The snow keeps falling, more and more,
Slowly filling the footsteps you left behind.
So there's less and less for me to find.
If you were just above the clouds
Like you would be if all the happy stories didn't lie
I would find a way to reach you.
But you are much further than that.
If you were just beyond the moon
I would talk, and maybe you would hear me.
But you are much further than that.
What if you can see me? Hear me? Know me?
And know that I'm sitting here trying to remember you.
That thought scares me.
But what scares me more
Is 'What if you're not?'

Oh Why Mummy

OH WHY MUMMY
 
OH WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN TO YOU OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE THIS HORRIBLE FAIT IT COULD HAVE GONE TO?

OH WHY NOT A MISERABLE OLD PERSON WHO NO ONE LOVED OR WHO SPENT THERE LIFE INSIDE?

OH WHY NOT SOMEONE ONE WHO TRIES TO THROW THERE LIFE AWAY TO COMMITTING SUICIDE? 

OH WHY CAN IT NOT BE UNDONE  OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY???

My Mum

I allways new that you my mum were allways very ill
i close my eyes and see a picture of you lying there
i wish one day that i'd wake up and you were standing there
i wish that i could of take away the pain that you were in.
 
to my mummy tomorow is a year!
 
 
To all the people that have lost there mums i no what you are going threw

Poem For My Gran

gran,god saw you getting tired,
a cure was not to be,
so he put his arms around you,
and whispered come to me,
 
a golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands a rest,
god broke our hearts to prove to us,
he only takes the best!
 
love you gran x

Nana Stopped the Clocks

I remember the hour, the minute, the second my nana died. We were together, everyone, lyinig on her double bed... watching "Four Weddings and a Funeral..." It was ironic because it was the funeral scene. And the poem was being read and thats when she died. just like that. The poem was:
 
Twelve Songs by H.W. AUDEN (1907-73)
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
 
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhears
Scribbline on the sky message He Is Dead
Put crepe bows round and white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
 
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
 
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
It was read at her furneral so it really helped me!

Jo xxx

Hold My Hand

Hold my hand, dont slip away,
There's so much more we had to say,
And even more we had to do,
But now it's over, and I miss you.

I held your hand, along the way,
Through your suffering, day on day.
And all the faith and love you gave,
But in the end, you couldn't be saved.

No matter how hard we tried,
We couldnt fix what happened inside.
And on that day, we cried, we cried.
And on that day, you died, you died.

And there you left a giant hole,
But your life had reached its goal.
So now we'll grieve, and now we'll mourn,
But when you died, new life was born.

Thomas Davies

My Gran

Now my gran is dead and gone
I feel the pain of someone
who has lost famly or friend
and will miss until the end.

To those people I would say.

" Do not sorow do not weep
for you will meet in final sleep.
Do not mourn your life away
you will meet again some day.
In your dark hour you must stand tall
and so I offer comfort to all.

To my dear gran who I will always love.

James   Age 11

My Boyfriend Ashley

This is a poem for the love of my life who died tragically on the 27th of April 2004 in a road accident.

They say that true love never dies & i do believe this so...
how can it just disappear surely it just grows?
When you left & didn't come back things were hard to take
nothing can ever mend the hearts that actually just did break!

I don't understand why you just left with so many unfulfilled dreams,
ambitions, goals and jokes all ready up your sleeves!
I know your never coming back & there so much i could say...
i wish that you'd just come back even for just one day!

The memories play on my mind each morning, night and day,
just wishing you were back here to make them go away.
My tears will dry, but the pain will stay,
i cant believe you went away!

Your in my heart and that's where you'll stay,
i wish i just had said the things i wanted to say
I love you babe and thats the truth
and no one will ever compare to you!!

Love you with every breath i take baby

                Emmax x x x x

For my brother

To my brother why did it happen to you my best brother in the hole wide world why did you go i new it should not of bin you but we will never forget you.  You where the best  michael our love will be with you for ever. love kyle and mum and justin xxxxx michael{fitzy}

My daddy is dying

i am 6 yrs old and my daddy is dying.
Everyone in my family is sad.
my nanny and grandad and my dads parents are there for me.
i feel very sad, i cry and want my daddy to be here for ever.
my puppies are there for me.

Simon

For my Grandpa Mick

Ask Him
 
Ask Him what to have for lunch, ham or cheese?
Ask Him what colour the sky's going to be tomorrow.
Ask Him if the sun is going to shine like our families eyes.
Ask Him how shiny the stars are going to be tonight.
Ask Him all you need!

by Todd

A poem, for my brother who commited suicide for years ago

The beatin’ of my heart
The thoughts in my head
That smell I know
That sight I don’t

I walk down that everyday path
And meet what I don’t know
Fear, hurt, anger, pain
These feelings I have never felt

You said u would always be there
So where are you now
These feelings you said you would help me through
Were caused all because of you

“I Love you” you always said
I just laffed, I never thought it would end
Although my love for you is always there
I can’t hear you say it back

I miss you like a camel without a hump
I remember you like a child remembers how to ride a bike
And most importantly
I love you like a sister loves her older brother

I miss you !

My gran

my gran died on saturday, its been a week and i still havent let it sink in... anyway, this is the poem i'm gonna read 2 her at her funeral on tuesday, i hope she likes it, i miss her so much!

You close your tired eyes

For a rest so well deserved,

In the warmth of heaven

Where your place has been reserved.

Many hearts are with you

But many tears shall shed,

Hoping there are no wishes

No words forgot to be said.

May God wrap you in his arms

So safe and full of love,

May you be in such a better place

Watching from above.

May a smile be on your face

May happiness, everyday be with you,

May the grass be greener

And the skies a cloudless blue.

Your pain, we wish has disappeared

And brought strength from where was weak,

Knowing wherever you are

So much is in your reach.

We shall not forget you,

An aunt, a gran and mum,

A daughter, cousin, niece and wife

And now our star, our sun.

Your smile that brought such tender

Your touch that showed such care,

But you in whole with kindness

Was always there.

You made us laugh, you made us cry

But never did any wrong,

You had time for everyone

Showing love all the long.

But now it is your turn

For someone to keep you warm,

For them to look after you

Wherever you are reborn.

So as your exhausted eyes close

As your spirit is set free,

Take the path into heaven

Let go of all misery.

Let the angels guide you

To a better place than here,

But feel the love we send to you

Through each falling tear.

You will be missed granny

It’s so hard now not to cry,

We love you gran, you know that

Till heaven calls us… goodbye.

REST IN PEACE!

My Christmas Wish

I wrote this poem for my dad, who died on 8th January 2003 of a heart attack. He was born in Trinidad in 1950. The poem is about all the things he loved.

MY CHRISTMAS WISH                      

Fried chicken and rice n' peas
Hot showers that burned his knees
Caribbean rum and good red wine
And hugs from us all the time

My Christmas wish that I'm making this year
Is for Dad to have these and my Dad to be here

Trees and birds and things like that
Brian Lara's left handed bat
Caribbean sunsets over the sea
And wicked dancing, performed by me

My Christmas Wish that I'm making this year
Is for Dad to see these and my Dad to be here

Bob Marley's Redemption song
And his crackly radio all night long
The singing of birds that never ends
To hear his own jokes, and the laughter of friends

My Christmas Wish that I'm making this year
is for Dad to hear these, and my Dad to be near.

Lemuel

The Magic Box

I will put in my box
The second sun, shining down on a spring day,
Laughter from the world's most loneliest creature,
The tiniest touch of a twinkling star.

I will put in my box
A pencil with a broken heart,
The magical drop of the rainbow,
And a fallen down star.

I will put in my box
A drop of the sun,
The last snowflake to fall,
And the first dragon to breathe fire.

I will put in my box
The thirteenth month and an 8p coin
A marathon runner, running in ballet shoes,
And a ballet dancer, running the marathon.

My box is fashioned from
Pebbles and shells
With silk on the lid and sunlight in the corners,
Its hinges are the wings of fairies.

I shall dance in my box
On the yellow sandy beach in a Florida theme park,
Then fly to the top of the world
And watch the sunset.

Alice Wiggins
aged 9

At Last

when god looked down upon the world,
he saw a suffering boy,
he smiled and said enough is enough,
this is a child this is no toy,
he took his soul but left his body behind
and took him to a better place,
it was sad to see that the boy had gone,
but there was peace pon his face,
now we see no suffering,
we know that he's ok,
he looks down on us as a star at night,
but is with us through the day,
now we're the only ones left on earth in pain,
he will play happily in heaven,
while we wait to meet again.

A poem for my mummy

M is for meals she always cooked the best food   
U is for unbelivebley kind
M is for mum as she is the one you can tell everything to but when you have a argument and say you hate her, well you dont mean it but one day you will regret it
 

My Angel

She sits up above staring down at me

I know why she had to leave you see

Pain has gone, she's as happy as can be

Sitting up in the clouds staring down at me

At night she shines down her light

Her love for us is shown so bright

My angel is the brightest star at night

I feel her presence when I see that light

I remember that smile that she used to send

And that warm hand that she used to lend

The cuts and bruises she used to mend

Thank you mum for everything, my angel

By your loving daughter Elizabeth

My Mum & Me

My mum and me we did everything freely,
My mums the best better than the rest.

My mums lovingly she argued furiously,
she loved listening to her bets cds.

She watched casuelty also lived happily,
she loves me every day and buyed me presents on my birthday.

Song for my Grandpa

One day when you lose the one you love
The first thing you will do, is look into the sky above
Ask the lord why he had to take them away
But you will know, you will see them someday

You know that they've gone to a better place
It's way up high, even further than space
All you ask is that they're always happy
So when you meet up, it will all be lovely

When you've lost your loved one
It is hard to get over it
When you've lost your loved one
You will never get used to it

You will love them for eternity
The thing you want for them, is to live their life happily
Ask the lord to keep them by his side
And help them through, so that he is their guide

In the end it doesn't really matter
What's done is done as life begins to shatter
All we can do now is to remember them
And one day soon, we will be joined together again

When you've lost you loved one
It is hard to get over it
When you've lost your loved one
You will never get used to it

Love Becky

Neil

Neil

Someone’s Brother, a Father’s Son, a Mother’s pride from nine months on.
To love and guide them, from cradle to school,
Not knowing their future, the achiever or the fool.

Well, the fool he was, the Joker of the pack,
Head into the wind, with his baseball cap turned back.
I’m going on a mission to see a mate, can I borrow a fiver,
I’ll pay you back, I promise, I won’t be late.

Here comes Neil, the Clown, the Charmer, the Cheeky Chappie,
Kind of emotional, but always kind of happy.
Responsible, I don’t think so!
I’ll choose the easy life, it’s the only road I know.
Places to go, faces to see, I’m off, see you later,
No flies on me.

Fart Face Gurkin, Ne-Ne, Dozy and T,
Or just simply Neil to you and me.
Carefree, laid back, it wasn’t often said,
So laid back, we couldn’t get him out of bed.
I suppose he was a big kid at heart,
The baby of the clan, all the kids loved him,
A streetwise Peter Pan.

Here stands a boy, who clung to everyone,
But sometimes stood alone.
He did have a special way with kids,
But never thought he would have his own.
He’d play their games, eat their sweets, even wind them up.
Hey kids give us some chocolate!
No, Uncle Neil, Buy your own, Grow up.

We always said, Get your hair cut, Have a shave,
Stop pulling holes in your sock,
But little did we know, we would be surprised,
And in for a shock.
But who is this before me, is that the Neil we knew from school?
The man, the achiever,
Not the boy, the fool.

Now a working man, with money and pride,
With his head held high, totally rearranged.
It’s funny how the right woman can sometimes make that change.

So, we are left with these Happy Memories, as the story began,
I guess it is time to say goodbye, to their baby, their kid, their son.

But the story is not finished, it’s not even over.
I am sure Jamie will be a clone, and look like Neil when he is older.
And Byron was his friend and son, whom he called Dad
For all his given days, and as he gets older,
He will probably follow Neil in his ways.

Just as it began, it’s where the legacy ends,
In these two boys, a woman, family and friends
And I’m sure with all our different reasons,
A loss we must feel, as we say goodbye and remember,
OUR MATE, OUR KID, NEIL

Mother

A mother is there for you when you are feeling down,
A mother is a person who helps you when your on the ground.
A mother is someone you can talk to when you have had it tugh,
A mother is someone who you can tell when people are a bit rough.
But most of all she is your mum your bestfriend the only one who knows what it is like to do things wrong.
but sadly she is not there any more but she will always be watching over you.
 
By Zoe From barrow-in-furness age 14

DAD

Through all your living years,
you never seen me much, but when im down and sad,
i feel your loving touch.
your light that shone on earth,
now lights the stars above,
and since the day you went,
you left us so much love.
 
i think of you everyday,
from when the sun starts,
to when it packs away. you left us all so soon,
to start another life,
and to make your home around,
the ice blue moon.
 
your gone but your memory will never die
'till we join you in star speckled skies.
rest in peace Dad
love Aysha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

My nan

its always hard to get over a love ones death but im looking forward to times healing. i lost my nan this thursday gone she had cancer btu she never got to start therapy. she thought she was coming home this weekend and now shes not able to. she died of blood loss. we all miss her but remember support the rest of your family and think of how the love one who is gone would feel if she knew you were all so upset on her behalf. xxx

One Day

One Day,
I Will Laugh Again
One Day,
I won't feel this pain
One Day,
I will be free
One Day,
I will again be me
One Day
I will think of you and smile
One Day,
Every step I take won't seem like a mile
One Day
There will be blue sky
One day,
I won't need to cry
One Day,
I will be able to say
I'm fine thank you and mean it
One day, One Day, One Day.

Debbie Alexander (Parent at May 2003 Camp Winston)

SIOBHAN

It was quite a while since we last met,
but when i found out you passed, i will never forget,
the sadness which touched me deep inside
and brought tears streaming from my eyes.
you were took soon,
to take your flight across the moon,
to see the angels up high,
and fly through, the diamond sky.
your now in the morning sun,
 and then your in the stars, when the day is done.
though your gone, your memory is here,
remebered still with a tear.
rest in peace siobhan
Love Aysha xxxxxxxxxxxxx

For Mummy

M is for mighty-bravery and the strength shown in you.
U is for under-the-weather, you felt, sad but true.
M is for my-mummy and a great one too!
M is for miss you -we will always do.
Y is for why did it happen to you?

We love you mummy!

The thing about forever

I was talking with my daughter about her father, who had died, and I was saying that it had begun to hit me how long forever is. When he died I knew it was forever but I didn't realise forever is forever. A couple of days later she sent me this poem.
 
The thing about forever is it doesn't have an end,
It stretches on through time, so when you loose a special friend
The memories will always be there, of the love that is now gone,
Yet if you miss someone forever, then surely they live on?
 
Forever can't be reached, it doesn't have a goal,
When we loose someone forever,it permeates our soul.
So life does go on, dark after light,
Just things in life can seem less bright.
Time goes on, night follows day,
Some people go forever, but never fade away.
 
Bring back the past, let the memories live on,
Look at the photos and put on that song.
Bring back the person, I still want to scream,
Don't let me be with them only in dreams.
 
We are alive, awake and not gone
But to miss someone forever just seems too long.
Some people choose to live, others choose to die,
Which leaves those ones they left to forever wonder why.

Fathers and daughters

I wrote this poem for my father following his death in a road traffic accident.

You may be gone from this life, but
in my mind you still live as you always did.
No one, nothing and nobody can take me away
from you. You, my father, and me, your daughter
had and still do have a very special relationship in
which I can tell you anything. And you always
listen, without anger, ignorance or irritation.

I want you to know that although you were taken
away from this world too early, I can feel
you with me all the time in spirit. You'll
never leave me or our family. Some people die
and leave for good. Not you. You remain alive
as you always were, forever with me. You made
me, and I live for you. We can't be separated
ever, not in any way.

I ask for your help when I'm in danger; I
ask for your joy in my happiness and
I ask for your peacefulness in my
rage. I want you to know just by
being you.

I appreciate you and your kindness
as being the best in this curious world.
I absolutely adore you for being
the remarkable person you are.

You'll never be forgotten by me or
anyone else in our family. The best people
live on for eternity, as you do. So live with me.
Live with me every second of every day of
every year.

I'm so young yet I know and knew you
better than anyone else. I would do anything
for you.
Call out to me - I'll be listening for you.
Whenever you need me, I'll be there, without fail.

I'll never say you're dead and not coming back, because it's not true at all. You'll forever
be in my mind. The best father I could have hoped for. I miss you so much,
but my love for you is stronger than
my grief, and that keeps me alive
in the peace that love binds us together.

Natasha

I Wish!

I wish it didn't happen
I wish you hadn't left
I wish you were happy again
I wish you all the best
I wish I could see you again
I wish you were back here with me
I wish you could be alive and well
But I'm glad that you're now free! !

Love Becky

For my daughter Rhian Grace

They say death parts us.
But I disagree.
Though I can no longer hold you in my arms,
I hold you in the heart of my being.

In my own existence, you exist.
You are everywhere in all I see.
You are the wind, the rain, the ancient seas,
The floating clouds, the glistening starry sky of night.

Each tear shed, a memory of you.
So no more do I fear the pain of your death,
For it is the remembrance of the love of you.

Together always we will walk upon this world of mine.
For the love you gave, and my love for you,
Can never cease.
So you see you cannot die,
For you are
As all things are,
Alive in me.

My dad

One night I was sitting on my bed, listening to my parents arguing downstairs.  Just yesterday Mum had said they were divorcing and I sighed.  I went downstairs to tell them to be quiet and Dad said "Get to bed".  I told Mum of my troubles and she nodded and said goodnight.  I went upstairs and fell asleep for the night.

The next morning, I woke up and thought Dad was having a lie-in.  Me and Mum went to my friend's house and I stayed there.  A couple of hours later, Mum phoned and told my friend's Mum to let me stay a couple of hours more.  When I came home, Mum sat me down on the sofa and said that Dad was dead.

Then it came to me.  I saw the tear marks on her cheeks and I felt numb with shock.  Mum was crying silently again and Ben was asking questions.  I left them to it and wandered into the kitchen.  I saw the family friend, Sue, sitting at the table.  Her husband had died a year before.  She looked at me sadly and hugged me.

The next day was Monday and my family took a day off and we all sat inside.  I got a toy, two in fact, and then Mrs Diame, she brought cards from the class.  She told me how when she said I liked horses, everyone started asking how to draw a horse.  This also happened with hamsters and stuff like that. 

I thanked her, and she left. We all went for a walk into town. When we got back we all said good-bye, and on Tuesday I went back to school.

Sometimes I feel apart form my friends, and sometimes I just want to cry. When my friends have arguments, it reminds me of my life before.

That is a true story, and I never have to think hard for it.

By Emily
 Age 10

My Granddad

Was once so near, but now has gone

He was such a laugh, my granddad John

Full of smiles and his cheeky grin

You could feel his warmth, deep within

I miss you, I miss you so bad

I won’t forget you oh its sad

I hope you can hear me

I will remember you clearly
 

I didn’t get to kiss you goodbye

I wish you wouldn’t see me cry

Deep down I no your always there

Standing by me, I know you care

Won’t you wake up?

I keep asking why

It can’t be real

But it happened, you passed by

Why did it happen to such a loving granddad?

Thinking of the great moments we had

Tears me apart and makes me upset

That he won’t b here any more, yet…

Was once so near, but now has gone

He was such a laugh, my granddad John
 

I miss you!

The gold necklace

Whenever I go into my mum's bedroom
and open the cabinet door,
I see it glistening inside.

I put my hand out,
open all the little lockets
and see the pictures inside.

When I come to the very last clasp
then I wait for a little while.
After that I open it.

Then sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry
for the memories come to my mind.

Every day she was alive comes back
When it glistens or shines in front of my eyes.

When it sparkles, I remember
the fun we had on birthdays and special occasions.

One day, I will wear it.
But for now it is too precious.

My dad

I can't say i'm glad he died
But some day he was hot and fried.
My dad was ill in bed
But theres still a place inside my head
Where we're together
And will be forever.
My dad is happier now
Me too some how.
But this is just one tribute to him
Whilst at the moment my lights are dim.
I see him again one day
Could be close or faraway.

My sister Alexandra

This is a poem i wrote for my sister.

For Granny Craig

It is hard for me to believe she is gone
I would like to think that she still lingers on
I don't want to feel that she is alone
Each week Mum still starts to phone...

I remember playing with this musical bottle when I was young
watching the ballerina twirling and dancing with my mum.
But all that's left now are these fond memories
because my granny has gone...
and may she rest in peace.

The prayer from my dad's funeral

This is the prayer I read at my dad's funeral

Dear Lord Jesus,
You cried when your
Friend Lazarus died, so you understand
How we are feeling today.

Comfort us, as we are sad and lonely
Without the one we loved so much.

Help us to be glad that our dad is
Happy and free for ever from sadness
And pain. Teach us to trust and love you
So that we too may live with you forever.

Hymn from a funeral

I'm free
dont grieve for me, for now i'm free
im following the path god has laid you see
i took his hand when i heard him call
i turned my back and left it all

i could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work to play
tasks left undone must stay that way
i found that peace at the close of a day

if my parting has left a void
then fill it with remembered joy
a friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
oh yes, these things i too will miss

be not burdened with times of sorrow
i wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
my lifes been full, i savored much
good friends, good times, a loved ones touch

perhaps my time seemed all to brief
dont lengthen it now with undue grief
lift up your hearts and peace to thee
god wanted me know
he set me free

(it's a hymn sang at my gran's friend's funeral with luvely words. None of our family are religious but some of the words to that hymn are beautiful, and my mum was young when she died at 46 yrs old to cancer)

i love you loads mum and will never forget u xxxxxxxxxx
andrea

Nanny Jackie

I don't know much about her but its still sad all the same.

Ask Him - for my grandpa

Ask Him what to have for lunch, ham or cheese?
Ask Him what colour the sky's going to be tomorrow.
Ask Him if the sun is going to shine like our families eyes.
Ask Him how shiny the stars are going to be tonight.
Ask Him all you need!

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes I just wish it would stop. The constant, endless, random reminders and memories. Pulling me back, relentlessly, inexorably, without mercy to that moment on the 2nd November.

Sometimes I forget. It’s just not in my mind at all. Immersed instead in work, or in a game, or in grinding routine, or in alcohol.

Sometimes I’m happy. Revelling in the freedom to make my own choices, dancing through the relief, singing with joy.

Sometimes I’m lonely. Completely alone. With each experience, every passing thought, each smile, each tear. Fearing my responsibility for myself, for my children. Finding pleasure in my own strength at the heart of the pain of loneliness.

Sometimes I can hold all the feelings, all the ramifications, the memories, the before and after, all the people, the shock, horror, anger, grief, relief and joy, in my mind all at once. For an instant I can comprehend the totality before it slides apart again, like trees moving into and then out of perfect alignment as you watch them from the window of a passing train.

A microsecond of symmetry, of satisfaction. Enough to know that the picture balances, makes sense in an abstract way. Enough assurance to cope as I roller-coaster through the surging cycle of emotions and give in to the terrifying moments of panic and loss of control. Calm, certain knowledge of a whole. A solid base.

Dear William and Harry

There are extracts of letters sent from young people at Winston's Wish to Princes William and Harry after their mother had been killed:

Dear William and Harry

I'm very sad that your mum has died, my dad died 2 ½ years ago, I was very sad, but now I have got used to the idea that I will not see Daddy again but he will always be in my thoughts, like your mummy will never be forgotten, by you and also by everyone in the world.

I still get very sad but try to think of the fun times I had with my Dad and that helps to make me feel better.

Winston said that
It is alright to be sad but it is also OK to be happy as well.

Love James

Dear William and Harry

I am a seventeen year old boy who experienced the death of my mother at the age of four. Because I was so young when the death occurred I wasn't quite sure what to feel and what confusingly what had happened.

As the year went by I myself didn't quite experience the bereavement which many children and families have faced. Yet my brother experienced some bullying involving comments on the death of our mother as he reached his early teens. The bullying did harm my brother quite badly and we were advised to visit Winston's Wish for a weekend.

It has been two years since we visited Camp Winston and it has helped a lot. I myself have gained greater confidence and my brother has returned back to a normal teenage life.

From Winstons Wish we learnt a lot. Yet the one thing that helped my brother and I get on with life, was the fact that we learnt we weren't alone, and that it is ok to express our feelings.

My brother and I have always kept a picture of our mother, which is stood on our bedside tables. When I feel uncomfortable with something I often look at the picture, and I tend to talk. I tell of my worries, and I get the feeling that she is listening to me.

I believe you both have coped very well from what I have seen on the TV. You have so far become the perfect role models for the many who will later experience a death in their family.

I hope you both overcame the grief as my brother and I have (continue on the good progress!).

Your sincerely, Dan

I hope it helps you to know that your Mum was so special to so many people
The quality of a lifetime is greater than the quantity of a lifetime
It helps to talk

Dear William and Harry

... I used to find it hard to talk to people and I used to hide my feelings. I have only recently learnt that it is alright to show my feelings.

I was very sorry when I heard about your mother. I cried a lot. Mostly I cried for you because you both were very strong in the service. I was not allowed to go to my Dad's funeral but even if I had I don't think I could have portrayed the cool exterior you both wore, even though I think that you must have been very upset. I admire you both very much for all that you did.

For Grandad

Pics of trains upon a table
may well seem quite strange
but Dad's old man liked little more
than a bunch of slow old trains.

he took

He took his brief candle
and went into another room
I cannot find

But I know that he was here
Because of all the happiness
He left behind

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